Saving the Galaxy While Incidentally Having a Fat Ass

Written by ToolBaz-v3.5-Pro.
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Editor's Note: An occasional pastime I have to amuse myself is to come up with increasingly absurd story titles to feed to AI, with no further context, and see what the AI comes up with. Usually, this is silly nonsense that's not worth writing home about; but occasionally, it spits back something so hysterical I simply have to share.
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Jaxx "The Galactic Guardian" Meridian wasn't known for her physique. She preferred practicality over vanity, a philosophy reflected in her arsenal of gravity-defying boots and a spacesuit tailored for maximum maneuverability, not minimum waist circumference. Let's just say her asteroid-shaped butt was less "hourglass" and more "planetary." This, incidentally, proved remarkably useful in a recent galaxy-saving escapade.

The Xylos threat loomed large – a sentient nebula intent on devouring entire star systems. Conventional weapons were useless against its amorphous mass. Jaxx, however, possessed a secret weapon: her legendary "Butt-Thrust Maneuver." Born not out of training, but sheer gravitational pull, it involved a precisely timed, powerful thrust using her… posterior. The resulting gravitational distortion created a localized singularity, capable of disrupting the Xylos's feeding patterns.

Her colleagues, a ragtag bunch of intergalactic superheroes known as "The Cosmic Crew," weren't entirely convinced. Captain Stellaris, a shimmering humanoid with an ego the size of a supernova, scoffed openly, "Seriously, Jaxx? Your… posterior is our best hope?"

Jaxx, never one for finesse, simply grinned. "It's worked before, Captain. Besides," she patted her sizable behind, "it's not just a fat ass, it's a strategically positioned fat ass."

And indeed it was. The Xylos, a being of pure energy, was utterly unprepared for the unexpected gravitational anomaly. As Jaxx performed a series of meticulously choreographed butt-thrusts (a sight that would haunt Captain Stellaris's nightmares for millennia), the nebula shuddered, its tendrils recoiling in confusion. She moved like a celestial ballerina, her bulky form a blur of controlled chaos, her powerful rear-end the engine of galactic salvation.

The maneuver was exhausting, leaving her breathless and slightly sweaty, but the Xylos was weakening. The Cosmic Crew, initially skeptical, rallied. They used the opportunity created by Jaxx's gravitational disruptions to unleash a barrage of energy blasts, finally pushing the nebula back into the cosmic abyss.

The galaxy was saved. News of the victory spread like wildfire, albeit with some… artistic license. Galactic news channels showcased Jaxx's heroic feats, subtly downplaying the "Butt-Thrust Maneuver" as a "highly specialized gravitational displacement technique."

Jaxx, however, remained unfazed. Back at her favorite space-donut shop, she savored a triple-cream nebula-berry pastry, the weight of a galaxy – and a few extra pounds – resting comfortably on her shoulders. She’d saved the galaxy, and incidentally, had a pretty fantastically fat ass. And honestly? She’d take both any day. The pastries, however, were her true weakness. A serious weakness, that might just require another butt-thrust maneuver to counteract. Perhaps tomorrow. Today, donuts reigned supreme.
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Prompt: Write a story titled "Saving the Galaxy While Incidentally Having a Fat Ass"